Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Trivial Pursuit? No, sir, I believe this is quite a serious matter.

Gather a group of your friends (preferably second stringers..you don't want to rob your good friends blind) and pull out a box of Trivial Pursuit cards. Challenge the squad to a friendly but potentially lucrative game of T.P. Don't appear too hasty or your plot will be foiled. Plot? Oh yes, I have gotten ahead of myself...


MAD LOOT VIA TRIVIAL PURSUIT: A SIMPLE AND INFORMATIVE GUIDE TO THE INTELLECTUAL GRAVY TRAIN



You may be slightly hesitant to spend your valuable free time with a pack of hyped up flash cards, and you may even have unpleasant memories of this game from childhood, as most of the questions are from an era before your time...but, believe me, this past time is an enjoyable and profitable one... and heck, you may even surprise yourself with the bit of useless knowledge that you have garnered from many painful years of schooling. Don't be naive though, this "knowledge" that you possess has very little to do with your success at this exercise in quick response.

There are two names you need to know. Only two. I'll let you salvage some of your pride with a few guesses. Who could it be?

Marcus Allen? Excellent guess, but no.

Jim Jones? Nope.


I'll give you a hint or two.

One of these fine characters shares a birthday (August 29, 1958) with a one Mr. Lenny Henry. Who?!

The other was the first US president whose name contains all of the letters that form the word “criminal.”

Here they are! The stars of Trivial Pursuit!

Richard Millhouse Nixon!


and Michael Jackson!

Okay, now here are some routine questions so you can practice shouting out each of their names with a look of surprised realization:

Who was the best man at the Liza Minelli-David Guest wedding?



answer: Michael Jackson!

What ex-president missed the slab of pork while showing off his ax-wielding skills to a group of Moscow
butchers?

answer: Richard Nixon!

Who is the main character in the early 90's game, "Moonwalker"

answer: Michael Jackson!

Which president, who resigned from office in 1974, is known for putting ketchup on his cottage cheese?


answer: Richard Nixon!

Now here are some wild cards:


What state’s gourmets devour 3.6 cans of Spam per second, double the rate of the rest of the U.S.?



answer: Hawaii

What does Simon Wiesenthal hunt?



answer: fugitive Nazis. egggcellent.

Now that I have supplied you with the tools for success, you just need to get out there sporto, and bring back some bacon. At five billz a game, you could be pulling out of your parent's driveway in a sweet new-to-you 83' Honda Civic in no time at all!


and now for some celebratory Magazine 60!

No comments: