I have taken a handful of film classes at UMass in the past two years and have willingly exposed myself to the hordes of pseudo-intellectual bro-jobs that fill the various auditoriums and classrooms. I don't mean to take out my hunger/fatigue or just general bitterness on one person, but I'm going to. In my spiritual cinema class, which is located in Machmer Hall (i.e.: the most offensively maze-like building on campus with East and West Wings. quoi?!) there is the standard array of film geeks (this is not meant to be taken as an insult, as I am one myself) and a critical but very friendly professor of indistinguishable origin (Russia, Moldova? it is any one's guess)
So I finally make it to my film class, a little late, and take a seat in the back. I have to move a little to see the screen and try to snuggle into my sweater, as I am situated by a window. My professor is actually a really adorable old man but he can never figure out how to start the films regardless of how many times he has taught the course. I never mind, purely because there is no need to get all antsy about trivial things. It is not as though I have anything better to do on a Monday night. So we are all just hanging back, waiting to see Pickpocket, and this kid that sits in the front of the classroom(who looks like a centaur) starts rolling his eyes obnoxiously at the class because my professor can't figure out which button to press. It is this first impression that I have carried with me as I harshly criticize his character in all of my following classes (via angry blog).
The class is pretty interactive as far as film courses go. There is a viewing once a week, and then the next day, there is a discussion. We are all responsible for presenting a film analysis, etc etc throughout the term.
Without fail, at least five times during every class, this kid will interrupt whoever is speaking to enlighten us with his superior knowledge on the "essence of film." I'm not a very hateful person, but something about him makes me what to commit violent crimes. He sits straight up in his chair, throws back his mane like hair, crosses his leg and starts spewing all of this incorrect unintelligible filmic word vomit.
What should have been the death of the last centaur.
I highly doubt he has even seen more than one Bergman film in his entire life, let alone reign as the supreme barren of knowledge in Ingmar's cabinet of consultants. Not only does he repulse me intellectually, but he always winks (!) at me during class. I was unaware that this was still a living practice. For now, I suppose I will just stick with my air of distaste and start carrying anti-pseudo-intellectual-centaur mace. All of this negativity is putting me in a bad mood, but I'm sure there will be more on this topic in the weeks to come. Hopefully the focus will just be shifted from creeps towards mythological beasts, as they are far more exciting.
6 comments:
It's always difficult to deal with someone who talks about film in such an inaccessible way that it makes them look totally ridiculous. There's this guy in my Fassbinder/Godard Melodrama class who lauds the idea of "learning new ways of communicating with film" and "allowing film to communicate", and it makes me want to take a shit on him every time I hear it.
I wonder if he's the same guy that you're talking about. Does he have long hair and bad facial grooming skills? And ugly boots?
What's your favorite Bergman film? I think mine's Persona, but I could be biased -- I think I was a little obsessive over the implications of going mute during a performance of Electra.
It's so funny that you write about this, because I've had a similar experience in my English and Classics courses throughout my four years. There was this one girl who always seemed to have one class with me. And whenever she was there, she always had to raise her hand and then spew projectile word-vomit all over the rest of us. And it was constant.
Luckily, I stopped having classes with her, but I can totally appreciate your frustration with this pud-smack of a guy in your film class.
I wish you the best of luck with him, and I also look forward to reading about your film experience in future posts!
I HATE Machmer. If you've noticed part of it has labs and such and I think that they've got video cameras placed throughout the cooridoors as part of an on-going experiment watching US wander around like lab rats.
It's always the people you have EVERY class with year in and year out that end up being the vile word vomiters. The best is when even the professors start rolling their eyes and stifiling giggles.
I too have had classes with guys like that. I may have even been in a class with the same guy you're talking about.
I'll often get either the intellectual snob or the unfunny comic suck-up, the guy who acts waaayyy too interested in the subject matter and continually interrupts with little jokes and "clever" remarks. Never sit next to this guy, because you'll hear him whisper commentary after every sentence of the professor's lecture. Thoughts of violent assault are never far off when this guy is around.
yeah, it is becoming increasingly worse. mind you, the centaur class is right before this one...so i may look slightly stoic upon arrival. i am just masking my animalistic hate.
side note: i love this class.
I, too, have had many classes with this type of student. It's sort of inevitable in a humanities class, where there are no knowledge proofs, but only the fine line between articulate and verbose.
Currently, I have a class with a person I have termed the "Class Killer." Every class I've had with this person has been somewhat hijacked. The teacher will ask if there are any announcements, and this person (note my avoidance of gender-specific pronouns?) will offer a 10 minute dissertation on the nature of truth. Dude, I just wanted to know if there were any fish frys or anything this week.
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